JOB LOSS COMMONLY ASKED QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Famous quote:

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.  -  Lao Tzu

Q.)I've been let go and am overwhelmed with worries

A.)It is not the adversity that's getting you down but the worry about what "could" happen.  Your worst expectations are coming to pass. Think about what the worst scenario that could happen is, and the best scenario.  What's most likely is somewhere in between.  Adversity is something that strengthens you; it's an opportunity to grow.

Q.)I got fired and I don't know if I can ever live that down.

A.) J.K. Rowlings was fired from a secretarial job for writing stories at work.  She then used her severance to write Harry Potter.  This was her opportunity to be creative and she worked it.

Q.)I'm feeling really sad and helpless right now, will I ever get out of this?

A.)Yes, feeling like that is a pretty normal reaction to any loss...you will find it helpful to know the stages of loss. When a situation of loss arises, the security as you have known it is shattered.

 It literally feels like the carpet has been pulled from underneath you. When you find a way to accept this uncertainty as a natural state of being, you will feel okay again.  But when you are in the middle of trauma and loss, you can find yourself on a roller coaster of emotions with many ups and downs. 

Since many people find relief from knowing the stages of loss by Dr. Kuebler-Ross, a renowned grief specialist, I summarize them here.

 First you may go into denial, telling yourself “I don’t believe this.”

 From there you may move angry thoughts and feelings. At this stage you tend to blame somebody for what you are experiencing.

 In stage three you try to strike a bargain, maybe with God, “If you change this for me, I will never ask for anything again.”

Since this is a losing proposition, you become sad,” I’m too depressed to do anything.”

While moving through all these stages, sometimes in no particular order, you are on a bit of a roller coaster of tough feelings. But all these ups and downs level out when you move into stage five, “acceptance” and you are at peace with what happened".  Like many roller coasters the ride is tougher in the beginning, becoming less and less intense.

 Even years after trauma, something may trigger your old emotions.  Trauma and loss are similar in that they make the person feel unsettled, the security is gone.  The frontal lobes of your brain are not functioning at their full capacity at the time of trauma.  Meditation is important since it helps access relaxed brain waves, and build healthier frontal lobes.  Positively Up’s loss series C.D.s  are an excellent way to practise meditation and to cope with stress during trauma.

Q.)When I'm feeling helpless is there anything I can do to get out of that state of mind?

A.)The downloads/CD on job loss will help to reframe this mindset.

The general CD is based on ACCESS a reframing formula

Appreciation  (Wording here from our video)

Compassion

Choice

Energy

Spirit

Shift

Q.)How can I cope during this difficult time?

A.) My favourite thing to do each day before going to bed is to remember three good things that happened that day. Even when you feel sad, good things do happen.

 During intense emotions of insecurity you may want to hold off on any major decisions and pay extra attention to nurturing yourself.-    Listen to uplifting music. Classical music such as Mozart, Beethoven and Pachelbel Canon in general contain healing properties. Listen to your favourite personal theme songs that fill you with hope, serenity and inspiration.

 -Pick out a pure essential oil that is most appealing to you, and enjoy the positive feeling it gives off in your home.

-Pleasant objects of art or flowers placed strategically where you will notice them can lift your spirits.

-Be good to yourself, treat yourself to a massage, take as many walks in the fresh air as you can, get proper amounts of sleep, and eat properly.

-Do things that give you nice feelings, perhaps just renting a favourite movie, dancing or attending cultural events.

-Love and appreciate yourself, focus on appreciative thoughts. Focus, also, on the gentle touch and kind deeds towards yourself and others. The more you tune into love everyday, the easier every day gets. 

-Listen to meditation tapes. The tapes enable your subconscious to be open to receiving loving spirit energy. You can then rid yourself of fear and stress.